Happy Birthday Hemingway! Thank you for never failing to depress me when I needed it most, and, of course, for the pages and pages of reminders that it could, in fact, always be worse. In honor of your birthday, here are 5 times you really summed up my life in a nutshell.
The summer before my junior year in college, a really popular SAE named Chris* asked me out. We were both living in Newport Beach, a mere 4 blocks away from each other and newly single. He was good looking, athletic and pretty well-known for being one of those rare “nice guys” that every girl wanted to date (except his new-ex-girlfriend, to whom he’s now married).