In 2014 I made a resolution: To trust more. For me, this was complicated, despite the simplicity of the phrase. Trusting more meant worrying less, not being afraid of the future, or other things I can’t control. It also meant having more faith, taking more risks, being more comfortable being uncomfortable. It’s an ongoing practice, and will always require attention, but 2014 definitely helped me reset with this intention. Here’s what I learned.
- Trust means accepting tragedy, and that’s good for us. I found accepting my own personal “tragedies” inexplicably liberating. The sadness, self-doubt, criticism, and pain could only spur transmutation, and embracing the changes inhibited suffering, encouraged surrender, and created bliss.
- Relinquishing control over a situation gives you power. Despite what was going on around me, whether it was being completely lost in Fao, Portugal trying to find a hotel, or letting a rumor go undisputed, I felt in control of my experiences. On a soul level, my reaction to each happening was creating the moment, putting me in charge of my life, my choices, and my story.
- Haters gonna hate, and that’s okay. I’m now convinced that you can’t tell if someone’s your friend when you’re down and they are there for you. You want to know if someone is a real friend? Be happy and do the things you want to do without regret.
- If you really can’t decide between two choices, pick the one you spend more time justifying. If you just can’t decide, there’s generally a much deeper struggle than what’s at the surface. Choose the one you spend more time justifying. If you can’t really afford it, but find yourself listing off “buts,” do it. If you can’t decide between two jobs, pick the one that’s offering you less money. Take the scarier choice. If the other one were right, you wouldn’t even be considering the riskier one.
5. Faith and fear can’t live together. You can have both, but only one can stay. Life dolls out all sorts of scary plotlines, but trusting in the plan, having faith it’s all going to work out, can banish all the nightmares an imagination can think of.
6. Pain is not only temporary, but also unrecallable. When you’re in pain, it can be pretty all consuming. It’s all you think about, all you feel, as if your mind and body are working on a takeover and there’s nothing you can do about it. Pain is such a fleeting experience, so fleeting that it’s physically impossible to recall, no matter how great it seems at the time. This is important knowledge because it brings attention to the separation between the body and self.
- Not making a decision is a decision. And it’s a bad one. Choices are a part of life and sometimes require practice. Avoiding making decisions is essentially letting someone or something else dictate your life.
- No reason to stay is a reason to go. This can be as significant as a big move, or as small as a night out. If there isn’t a reason to stay where you are, go. Time and experience can work together, or they can not.
- Love, like trust, is a choice. Love and trust go hand in hand. Loving someone means making a conscious decision to let yourself be in love. It takes a solid decision to trust him and yourself. It’s a risky choice, but all good ones are.
- Our power is limited. We are only powerful in the moment. Our plans can fall through; our pasts can be discerned or forgotten, we are only in control of our lives in the moment. What does this mean? It means live in the moment, trust in the plan, accept what’s been done, and love every second of it.