Thoughts on Leaving. January, 2014
When the plane takes off my body was covered with goosebumps. There’s no going back now. In front of me, another world is waiting. Behind me, everything I know. “Often one goes for one thing and finds another.” My search for this journey: to learn to be alone.
This happens. When I am in my normal life, I find myself attaching to things that are not important. I hold on to my schedule, my diet, my friends, my lovers, my future, and my past as if they are the only things that define me. I build a careful façade of control around the routine I’ve created until miracles become coincidence and blessings become expectations. Without the presence of the supernatural, my spirit becomes exhausted to compensate, to find reason and purpose where gratitude and acceptance should live. God becomes difficult to find or very far away.
When we travel, especially when we don’t know the language, we enter into the world of the unknown. When the unknown is present, we attach more importance on the things and people around us in that given moment because our survival depends on it. We don’t hold on because holding on to one moment might mean missing the next crucial turn. Seconds are longer and more valuable. I find myself connecting more to people and opening myself more in order to be understood. I laugh louder; smile bigger; I feel my body language and eyes are more alive with emotion because being present is the basis of understanding. I feel more connected to the world and those around me.
You become more aware of the kindness in others. Every small gesture or act of goodness is magnified. Every bit of luck is a miracle that we appreciate the rest of our lives. We become alive again because our spirit is awake once more by the awareness of the invisible. You are forced back to your roots, where the present moment is the only moment where choice matters, you find an influx of creativity, purpose, joy, and intuition.
When I live in the present, I enter in a place of love, compassion, appreciation, and surrender. God becomes impossible to ignore. I find that any distance between me and God was my doing, and when I’m in the present moment, fully aware of His closeness and accessibility, I am truly home.