June 26, 2011, 12:05 AM Italy time

A sad and lonely room in an apartment in Taormina, Italy

Seriously earlier today on the train I was thinking about writing about how it is kind of nice to not have a phone always ringing.  I had this huge inspirational blog planned about how I don’t understand why I always answer my phone or read texts when I am with other people or doing something else.  I was going to say how it is sort of a relief not jumping every time there is a buzz to see if maybe he texted me, or him, or maybe someone with plans for later, always being worried about later instead of being worried about now.  I was going to write about how I love that languages are different but you can always communicate through being nice, and how everyone appreciates kindness no matter what, and how it would be great to just help people and never really needing to hear their story, and never having to tell yours, just letting the common link between you and everyone else be the basic human desire to give love.

But that sounds like shit right now and all I want to do is find that stupid internet café.  I miss my mom and dad.  I miss my grandparents and aunts and cousins.  I miss Ronnie and David.  I miss Steph even when she is being nuts.  I miss Geoff even when he is driving me insane.  I miss Jeremy and Ryan.  I miss Candice and Scott and Chris.  I miss Bolt.  I miss Bolt a lot.

My friend Alex told me the first month is hardest, and then it gets easier.  But I am not Alex and I don’t really want it to be easier.  I want to be with my friends and family.  I miss California.  I was right: Europe is exactly the romantic life I pictured in movies.  Everyone is lazy and beautiful.  People climb through windows when their doors get stuck.  They drink café multiple times a day and walk everywhere.  Children run around the streets playing with soccer balls down old cobblestone streets.  There are churches everywhere.  People do not talk as much and everyone knows everyone.  It’s all great.  It’s everything I thought it would be.  Now that I know, I want to go back.

Seriously.  I know everyone in this family knows my password.  CHANGE MY FLIGHT.  August 15^th is way too far away.  Someone save me.  This is the part when I realize I prefer my home.